Thursday, February 18, 2010

Normalcy?


Last week i was at the doctor´s office in Barcelona, Spain, where i am visiting family and checking my health; but that day the visit was for my children and i experienced something very interesting.

The doctors called us up, one child at a time with me, to do the visit; then he started asking questions directly at the child and expecting polite replies. My children, aged three, five and seven were silent and upon his insistency in getting a reply from them, they started getting angry faces, defensive and crying; the doctor was not expecting any of this behaviour and after we finish the whole visit he called me apart and asked me: Do you think this is normal behaviour? children not responding to an adult?

i replied: no this does not look like normal behaviour. And we left.

Coming home i was reflecting upon what have happened, and i realized how lucky i was that my children were not normal indeed! normal here is to be apart from parents at 4 months of age and put in daycare from 8am til 6pm, or at best to enroll in institutionalized care at one year old; and besides other things, this reflects in children being "socialized", expected to answer questions of intimidating strangers, like that doctor, at first call.

I am reminded of the amish children, which run under the skirts of the mother when a person not usual for them comes by, and i am honored that even though my children do not run under my skirts literally, they do still somehow, and this is an indication of them having been protected and cared with an envolture of an etheric sac, that has not been broken yet.

On the other hand i am willing to look for other signs that would tell me my children are actually not developping normally, in my idea of what is normal, and this it is difficult for families that raise their children different from mainstream families do; there is a tendency to either compare ourselves with the majority, and feel that we have to come closer to them, or the opposite, we feel that we have to run away even further from them.

We are walking a lot these days in the old part of this romantic and beautiful city, along narrow streets and middle age stone palaces, and as we walk along, the oldest daughter distances from us and walks almost alone at 20 feet away; this tells me that she is disconnecting healthily from the etheric that protected her in her first seven years of life, and tells me too that each case is unique and is very important to asses normalcy with individual and insightful eyes.

i would like to know any experiences that you have had with comparing normalcy levels in mainstream parenting or in any other way,

lovingly,
raquel

No comments:

Post a Comment